it's Summer,
I wanted to be wanted
and it would have been inhumane
to not fall in love with her.
in a World
filled with coffee drinkers,
she was my cup of tea.
you could drown in those eyes
and I am already drowning,
struggling at the bottom
of the pool
a love like that was
a serious illness,
an illness from which you
seldom ever recover from
a love where you wonder if
the Universe fights for some souls
to be together
because some things
are too strange
and strong
to merely be coincidences
I clutch desperately
onto every slow and deep exhale
of every man, woman
and child
that even slightly
resembled the first syllable
of your name
like a man afraid of heights
gripping onto the handrail
at the edge of the World
only to find out
the handrail is made of glass
and the tighter I hold on,
the deeper it cuts me
and the more I bleed
my body became an ashtray
for those who couldn't
love me back.
I wore my skin so thick
"its not you, its me"
became just another way of
saying good bye
I sit here sulking,
a symphony without an ending
nor a beginning.
as my shadow writes his eulogy
right before he leaves me,
I dressed myself in apologies,
walked in shoes made of whispers
and swallowed my ego, my
pride and my self worth
trying to come up with new ways of saying,
'I'm sorry."
I know it was selfish
if I cannot be happy with you,
then I will find a way
to be happy
without you.
I could've worn nothing else
but your kiss
and I only wanted to be your
forever
'in you I am lost,"
I said,
'let me rest in your love."
but no -
love will give me no rest
and the Devil does not come
dressed in a red cape
and pointy horns.
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