I Woke Up In The Hospital

I woke up in the hospital
on the 15th of August 2015
I check my limbs
all four are there

I woke up in the hospital
exactly 70 kilometers or
55 minutes away from where I live by car
granted good traffic
and decent driving speed

I woke up in the hospital
and the doctor told me
I've been in an accident
I've been unconscious for exactly 2 hours and 46 minutes
and yet no one has come to see me
I am all alone amidst passing nurses
and surgeons
inserting needles into skin
and bandages over open wounds
I see people crying
I spit blood
into my hand

I woke up in the hospital
but I'm slipping in and out of consciousness
I can barely open my eyes or
expand my chest to breathe
I can only hear the sounds around me
and every time I hear the sliding door opening
I pray that somehow
it was you
coming from the other side
just to hold my hand
and tell me its going to be okay
I'm going to be okay
because I've never been so
afraid in my life
but
you never did walk through that door

I woke up in the hospital
and the doctor told me
I fell face first
and a puddle of blood came second
I hit my head on the ground so hard
even with my helmet on
that I had a concussion
and might have lost some of my memories
he was right,
I don't even remember
how the accident happened
or what's been happening in my life
but I remember exactly
the look you gave me
on the 3rd of February 2011
in a surprisingly quiet corner of
a bustling mall
when I gave you a paper flower
with a note that read,
" Be mine. "
and I remember exactly
the look you gave me
when you said
you've finally found someone else
you could be happy and in love with
and We just couldn't be
not anymore

I woke up in the hospital
with a broken face
I was given anesthetics
to help with the pain
but then why does the thought of you
still hurts me to this day
it didn't help that I couldn't keep my eyes opened
because whenever I close my eyes
I either picture you smiling with your new man
or leaving
and both make me wish that
when I lost my memories
I would've lost you too
yet why do I still reach my hand out
on the hospital bed
hoping you would grab it
years ago,
when you told me to hold on and never let go
it was you I held on to
because you're all I want
and all I want is you

I woke up in the hospital
on the 15th of August 2011
wishing
I never woke up at all