A Dream, A Reality, Now Memory

in Retrospect,
when sadness was the
sharp, cold water filling my lungs at sea
you were the one who
taught me how to swim
you are the drop
of perfect
in an imperfect World
and I made the mistake
of having just a taste
so, let me
unbind the honey of someone
who does for me,
how Spring unravels cherry blossoms
in the streets of Nara
and burns my candle
brighter than the Sun

you were not just bouquet of roses
that I accepted with
your thorns,
you were a field of daisies
as far as the eye can see
you were all my favorite parts
in all my favorite songs
a dream, a reality
now memory
and this is why
it hurts
the way it does
you left me as
a picture without a frame,
a man without a home
a home without its walls
and in your absence
I learnt to be alone
so Bloom,
while I sit here in silent tears
and fight the fight
I can't go through;
the space between us two.
you left in peace
and left me in pieces
and this is why
I wrote this for you
this is why
I shake hands
with the dark parts of my thoughts
whom feed me
food for thought
to feed my soul
because I swear,
I've only been eating the bread crumbs
you leave behind

it was everything,
the hours spent on
late night phone calls
stretching the seconds so the minutes
seem to pass by slowly
until later becomes later then latest
and we become mindless slaves,
zombies to our phones
holding it close, so very close
as to not miss a word
in our days without each other
but we couldn't just have
the magical nights fooling ourselves
that the big, gray elephant in the room
doesn't exist
we had to have our fair share of days
where I look at you
and memorize every crack on your lips,
every bump and strands of hair on your skin
like it was the very first time
or the last
and smile a smile
my crooked, disheveled face will remember
until the day I die
and

this is how I lost you




because having have loved you
I had no control

this will mean nothing in time
in time this will mean nothing
so why does it still hurt ?
don't hurt your mind with why

please don't think of me
I'm nothing, honestly