Dirt

you're driving in a car
with a beautiful woman
you take her out to the rain
and into the moonlight,
she reaches over and touches you,
like broken constellations
she connects the dots
as you feel your aching heart
growing its roots back into your body
and you swear her fingers are like Heaven
even though you feel like Hell

you tell yourself,
" I'll never get used to this. "
this sickness,
this constant fever she's covered you in
living with
breaking your heart to make it bigger
and avoiding the Dragon and its flames
and you'll love her even more for it,
you'll keep singing
even when your body has caught fire
because
people's hope are endless
the second they hear the word,
" Forever. "

we accept the love we think we deserve
even if it feels like
the wrong end of a very long tunnel
and we crawl our way into the light
with our bare hands
and dirt under our fingernails
thinking, " This is Love. "
not wanting this to end
but not wanting to get hurt either
and you try every trick in the book
to keep her
but you still can't get beyond your skin
and
this is how you lose her

maybe in another universe,
I turned out okay
getting enough sleep every night and
swimming in a sea of love.
but in this World,
I feel like a dying patient
struggling to tell the doctor
where it hurts,
only that it does