Crush

Crush,
you waltzed into my life
like fire on a brim
and I must have smiled from
the North Pole to the South Pole
or maybe
to the Moon and back
because for some reason
without opening my mouth
everyone read me like an open book
and when they did
they could only find your name

I guess
everyone wanted to be
Kanye West
at the 2009 MTV Music Awards
because all I heard was,
" Amsyar, I'm really happy for you
and Imma let you finish,
but commitment is like
being locked up in jail. "
but when I heard that,
the only thing circling my mind was,
" Where the Hell do I sign up for a life sentence ? "

Crush,
the Sun can't do for the Earth
what you did for me
and I became selfish enough
to want you to myself
even though all two hundred and six bones in my body
were screaming and rioting
not to
but
I just couldn't help how
you became my most anticipated hello
my greatest thank you
and my hardest goodbye
at a time when
there was only
a massive confusion in my head
a deep sadness in my heart
and a vast emptiness in my chest

there's just not enough
paper and ink in the World
to say all that I wanted
if I could speak all 7000 languages,
I still would find myself
running out of words
to confess the first and only
lie I've told
about only liking you
even though I knew
I was already
falling in love

but

I suppose that's the thing with love that

no one tells you about
love isn't meant to be found,
it's stumbled upon
it isn't meant to be felt,
love is meant to be lived
it isn't a feeling
it's a choice
love is perfect
only because it isn't

and I'm the idiot who thought love was forever

Crush,
I hope you know that
you're a rose
and I've accepted you with your thorns
but when you left in peace,
you did not leave me in pieces
because I know
even my own shadow
leaves me in the dark