I want to be
the definition of peculiarity
the walking example
of absurdity
of things that don't make sense
and of things in between
the goal in mind
is simply
to be noticed without
having to speak
without
having to do anything
the goal in mind
is to speak and affect deeply
without having to move a single muscle
and a single lip

too long has the focus been revolving
around the mind and
not of what's truly within
truly
wanting to stop being such a worrywart
to be worried of what to say to important people
to worry if there'll even be someone
out there

I want to be
invisible and invincible
impenetrable, indecipherable and unrelatable
misinterpreted in the worst way
misunderstood, misheard and misjudged
to break myself into bits and pieces
and to break those bits into ashes
to realize that I am hollow and I am shit
I am a living, breathing organism
with no purpose
useless and pitiless
wandering around aimlessly

to have it all
is to lose it all
and clearly
I am slowly
yet
very, incredibly, tremendously
surely
losing my goddamn mind